Divorce is just as much a life transition as marriage. Divorce is not about the division of property; it is about the division of lives.
Resolution rarely comes with the Court making a divorce order. Collaborative Practice can help a couple reach resolution by the professional team peacemaking rather than helping the transitioning couple to wage war.
Depending upon the needs of the couple, various professionals are selected to assist partners to peacefully transition from their lives together into two separate households. As soon as the couple has selected their team, a Collaboration Agreement is signed by the couple and their collaboratively trained lawyers, their financial neutral and their neutral family and child specialist to resolve all issues outside of court.
The role of the family and child specialist in the Collaborative process helps the couple focus on questions of ethics and conduct, rather than winning and losing. Divorce is one of the most painful emotional experiences most people may endure in their lifetime. The family and child specialist specialises in human behaviour and family systems. Their role in the collaborative process is to help with the transition process and deal with the range of emotions that are inherent in any relationship breakdown. Family and child specialist can help clients determine what is truly important for the couple and their children. Family and child specialists can help release the negative emotional energy that can be part of any separation, by helping develop skills in open communication, self-management and creative problem-solving.
As a part of the collaborative team, the family and child specialist assists in separating highly volatile emotions so they do not interfere with sound decision making. Together, goals are created to address each area of concern highlighting strengths as well as identifying challenges. A family and child specialist can help a couple create co-parenting agreements that will work, by teaching them to focus on the real issues of the future, not past angers and disappointments. Family and child specialists help couples to turn their issues into mutually shared interests, as they learn new problem solving skills for conflict resolution and parenting for the restructured “family apart.”
By choosing to use Collaborative Practice, and with the assistance of a family and child specialists couples can move forward and focus on their goals and the interests and concerns that underlie those goals.